The Onus of Creating Trans* Acceptance Does Not Lie on Trans* People

The Onus of Creating Trans* Acceptance Does Not Lie on Trans* People was written for Transgender Day of Remembrance 2013 by blacqqueerboi

Disclaimers

(Here Trans* with an asterisk is inclusive of binary transgender people -FTMs and MTFs- gender-queer/variant/neutral/less people, intersex people-who may identify as intersex, female, male or any variation of gender fluidity; 2 Spirit people, hijra and other gender identities not recognized in dominant -western/eurocentric- narratives.)

The presumption that the onus of creating acceptance lies solely on marginalized people is perhaps one of the most preposterous ideas in circulation. Believing that it is up to Trans* people to end cissexism, cisnormativity and anti-trans* bigotry is akin to saying black people are responsible for ending anti-black racism or that children should be the ones to put a stop to child abuse. It is, quite frankly, nonsensical. While the advocacy and activism work that marginalized people do in terms of raising awareness about their different experiences of oppression (as well as their resistance of said oppression) is invaluable; it is ultimately the task of the privileged to recognize their societal advantage/s and to stop perpetuating bigotry. To be clear; cisnormativity, cissexism and anti-trans* bigotry thrive because people with cis-gender privilege either

1. do not recognize or acknowledge their privilege.

2. (if they do recognize and acknowledge it) do nothing to dismantle the systems in place which grant them said privilege.

And it is up to people with cis privilege to do something to change the status quo.

Now I am fully aware of the fact that there are some cis people who not only acknowledge their privilege but also work at dismantling the oppressive systems that afford them that privilege. However I am not here to offer brownie points to people for being humane. I am also not going to abide by the possible offended feelings of so-called “allies” who would rather not have to deal with a piece like this which calls people out on their bs and demands that they change their ways. If you are fighting the good fight; keep on fighting, there remains however, a shit ton of work to do.

Also; the fact that this is going to be a somewhat informative piece about various gender experiences and the ways in which people are oppressed by the normalization of cis-narratives, should in no way get people thinking that there exists an obligation on any trans* people to explain themselves or make their experiences convenient for your understanding. There already exists an abundance of information from trans* identified peoples about their varying experiences and while I would definitely recommend that cis people make use of the available resources to gain a better understanding of trans* narratives I must make it very clear that understanding is not a prerequisite for acceptance. Cis people will never have a first hand understanding of trans* experience; this is a simple fact, however that does not exempt them from the responsibility of accepting trans* narratives as valid forms of being human.

Admitting you have a problem:

While this subheading may be a tad bit tasteless I feel it is the best way to drive this point home. Cis privilege is a problem. Cisnormativity is a problem. And most cis people have this problem. This is a break down of what the term “cis” means [http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender] it is not an insult or in any way derogatory. So much about the world we live in -and the eurocentric western narratives that are dominant in many parts of the world- is inherently cisnormative. (Cisnormative is a term I prefer over “transphobic” as I believe it better captures the violence of anti -trans* bigotry and trans* erasure).  A recent article from buzzfeed depicts the ugliest aspects of this problem (triggger-warning for anti-trans* hate crimes) [http://www.buzzfeed.com/lesterfeder/238-trans-people-murdered-wordwide-in-the-past-years?s=mobile]. And I am going to need for people to understand just how serious this is. There is a reason trans* people have a short life expectancy (early 20’s), such high suicide rates (1 in 4 trans* people is likely to commit suicide) and are susceptible to such high levels of violence and hatred. There is a reason trans* youths all over the globe are so vulnerable to homelessness, hazardous health issues and are unable to access many of the resources they need for basic survival.

And this reason is cisnormativity. This reason is the sinister reinforcement in media, the medical sphere, every day conversation of gender experience norms which alienate the journeys of those who are not affirmed by the gender identities imposed on them by cisnormative authority and state. This reason is the lack of resistance on the part of the privileged against these norms; the adherence of cis people to the status quo, their complicity, their acceptance of cisnormativity as a norm. Not being able to see that cis privilege (just like any other form of privilege) is systematic in upholding the ideologies that oppress entire groups of people based on their gender experience; is a part of this problem. As a genderqueer person, I grow increasingly frustrated with the ways in which cis people are unaccountable for their privilege. I am frustrated with how complacent cis people are with the oppressive status quo. I am frustrated with the number of experiences I go through, in a day, in which my gender identity is erased or ignored or misconstrued because of all the “gender norms” being violently enforced all around me.

I do not believe it is impossible for the oppression of trans* identified people to cease. I feel that way about all systems of oppression. I do not believe miracles have to happen or that cryptic riddles need to be deciphered in order for cisnormativity to no longer be “a thing”. Literally, all it would take is a paradigm shift; a collective shift in consciousness, a change and an opening of minds and ways of thinking. And to those who feel it isn’t important or that them altering the way they think isn’t going to make any difference; please refer back to the link I shared about the number of trans* people murdered in the past year alone, world wide. Ideas justify some of the most heinous acts committed by human beings against other human beings as well as many other living organisms and beings that occupy the earth. Ideas about gender, gender norms and the perceived deviation from these things -in the minds of certain people- justfiy the brutal killings of trans* people around the world. So, yeah it really is important for cis people to change the way they think, collectively. Actual lives depend on it.

Understanding is not a Prerequisite for Acceptance

Humanity is a vast species with a multiplicity of narratives. We, the same as any other species in the world, are not a monolith. Moreover, the many different dividents that humanity consists of do not consist of monolithic narratives either. Whatever your belief system or lack thereof it is impossible to deny that all humans are unique and that each and every one of us is as complex and as intricate as the universe. It therefore doesn’t make any sense to believe that the only way to accept anyone or any experience that differs from your own is to implicitly understand them/it. No two people have a first hand understanding of exactly the experiences of one another. To be specific; cis people do not need to have an implicit understanding of non-cis gender experiences in order to accept them as valid. Cis people do not have to know the stories behind every  trans* person’s transition, gender journey, gendering, un-gendering to respect them, to accept them. Cis people, you do not have to know the details of a person’s physical counternance to be able to respect their pronouns.

You do not need to know the ins and outs of a trans* identified person’s childhood, medical history or even their dating life in order to accept them. It ought to go without saying; that trans* people are validly human and deserving of the utmost respect. Trans*ness needn’t have any kind of special justification or medical/scientific clearance or a stamp of approval from white able-bodied cisnormative spaces. This is something really basic we’re trying to get across here: acceptance. As a default. Acceptance as the initial reaction. Acceptance as the initial and continuous interaction. Understanding may or may not come, later. But it cannot be the premise upon which people justify hate and bigotry. Not understanding non-cis gender identities may be a reason for one to want to learn more; some people may even see a lack of understanding as reason enough to approach people and ask them questions about their varying gender experiences. And to that I say; ask away, do the research you feel you need to do, find out as much as you want to. However, it has to come from a place of compassion and unmalicious curiosity.

It has to come from a place of respect. It has to come with the knowledge that you are not entitled to answers from trans* identified people. That you are not entitled to disclosure or revelations or even a conversation about it on a day when someone just really isn’t in the mood to discuss their journey.

A Break Down of Language

Language plays an immense role in the way people perceive and react to things around them. Language plays this huge role in the dynamics between oppression and privilege. Language sets the stage for the ways people interaction with one another; the ways people negotiate safety or a lack thereof in various spaces. It is therefore crucial to have a break down of how language informs the ways in which trans* identified people experience this form of gendered oppression. Cisnormativity is the idea that cis identity is the only valid gender experience. That is to say; people whose bodies and genders are not misread or misinterpreted as somehow contrary or paradoxical to each other -based on so-called medical expertise- are perceived to be “normal”. And everyone else (particularly people whose gender journeys include transition or a defiance of some imposed identification marker -such as a name or a pronoun) is perceived to be an anomaly. Cis people need to begin to reaccess their use of language and the many ways it alienates trans* identified people. Cis people need to unlearn so much of what they have been taught to believe about gender identity and the language that reinforces the myths.

These are just a few word associations which cisnormativity enforces; that cis people need to unlearn:

1. saying ladies and gentlemen to a group of people instead of just saying “people”. (as the latter would be more accurate because one can never be sure about the gender identities of the all of the people that one is addressing and to assume that there are only 2 genders in ones vicinity is to uphold cisnormativity.)

2. anything preceded by “real men/womyn…”. Again the reinforcement of there being only binary genders is cisnormative. Also, prescriptive ways of defining gender 10 times out of 10 alienate people.

3. assuming and stating that certain physical characteristics, occurrences or medical procedures only apply to certain genders. For example believing that reproductive health issues are solely “womyn’s” issues? Is cisnormative (people of all genders may find reproductive health issues; such as pregnancy, the right to abortion, or even pap smears pertinent to them. They do not have to nor do they always identify as womyn.) Another example, pertaining to physical characteristics; associating genitalia to gender is another form of cisnormativity i.e. believing all womyn ahve vaginas and/or that all men have penises or even that vagina’s a characteristic of womynhood and penises that of manhood.

4. the assumption that pronouns have anything to do with a person’s physical appearance and nothing to do with their personal affirmation. This assumption leads to people using mostly binary or even offensive pronouns without the consent of the other person. Don’t just assume the person you are speaking to will be okay with a “he” or “her” or “it”. Keep it neutral, ask and respect what you are told.

5. gendered language that is prescriptive is a no-no. There is no universal way to act like any kind of gender. People cannot act like womyn and think like men. People act and think like people. Also not all people are cool with being referred to as “guys” or “ladies”.

There are so many other problematic uses of language that I could point out here which cis people really need to unlearn; however I shall save those for another article. Also, there are a shit ton of articles already written which describe the ways in which language alienates the experiences of trans* people.

Lose the Presumptions y’all

At the start of this piece as a disclaimer I mentioned a few identities which are included under the term Trans* with an asterisk. And I say a few because being someone who is in the process of learning about systematic oppression and the privilege that is incurred by various folks as a result of it; I am aware that there is a prevalent, dominant narrative which erases the experiences and narratives of so much of the world’s populace. Euro-centric, western ways of defining even gender identities that are non-cis are perceived to be the most universal; that is to say relateable and all-encompassing. That is simply not true; and I unfortunately have not done the ground work necessary to provide and rich and nuanced enough description of the gender narratives of indigenous peoples, non-western peoples and other peoples who define themselves for themselves. However, I would like it to be noted that these narratives exist. And that for however many gender experiences I may be familiar with; there are plenty others that I have yet to learn about.

And because there are so many genders and gender experiences around the world, and really around you; there is just no room for presumption. It is far more important to put an end to the systematic erasure of varying gender identities than it is to hold onto whatever sense of superiority having privilege, gives you. I need for people to see that. That the systems and hierarchies in place have fed us falsehoods about the possibility of all of us thriving; with all our differences, our diversity, our multiplicity. Cis people lose nothing by accepting that trans* people exist and are valid and deserving of just as much respect and affirmation as anyone. What would be gained by the acceptance of trans* people and their many narratives would be the possibility of reaching our potential -as human beings- to live harmoniously, to live without sexist and gender oppression. It is entirely possible. It needs only for all privileged people to take responsibility for the role they play in hindering progress.